Hip Hop Conviction

I got to spend the last 3 days of my Spring Break in Austin, Texas for South by Southwest. I had been serving at a camp in Tyler, Texas for the first part of the week then got an invite to tag along to Austin for a weekend of music and fun with a friend that was also serving at the camp. He's way more into music (at least the kind that plays at SXSW) than I am, so he made the schedule of shows he thought would be awesome and I was all in.

I'm a white girl. I like classical music, baking, high heels, ruffles, romance novels, and craft projects. I drive a chevy malibu and love opera.

Scene: Holy Hip Hop Concert.

It's at a church, there are seats, then a stage with two DJs spinning and a whole bunch of people milling around waiting for the show to start. We take our seats. I'm feeling moderately self conscious, but okay. We're not too close to the front and claimed seats. I can blend in here. I still feel like people are staring at me. The emcees come out and welcome everyone and set two rules: no sitting, and they tell people to come up front by the stage (as the smoke machines start going off and rappers get ready to come out).

Dustin says, YES! LET'S GO!!

My heart SINKS. I'm like. uhhh. I'm so uncomfortable already. I'm going to stick out. I also don't want to sit by myself. I go up there. First rapper comes out. All I can think about is how awkward I feel. How people are judging how I stand and how I bop to the music and how I look. Then I start listening to the lyrics. They are about Jesus. They are about who we are in Christ. They are about the idols we hold above Him--ourselves.

Enter: Conviction.

I'm so wrapped up in myself that I'm missing the point in a HUGE way. My audience isn't the people around me. Their opinion of me isn't important. They aren't judging me. THEY are enjoying the music. THEY are having fun. They don't care nearly as much about me as I do. My insecurities are taking away from the GLORY due to Jesus Christ. As my heart is hurting over my own sin and ugly focus on myself, the lyrics these rappers are singing start delighting my heart. "Ain't no party like the holy ghost party cause the holy ghost party don't stop". I start singing along. I'm swaying. I'm loving it. I make friends with some girls next to me. I'm dancing. I'M HAVING A BLAST!

My own pride is my worst enemy. Pride was keeping me from encountering Jesus at that show. Pride was assuming that MY APPEARANCE was more worthy of the attention of people around me than the saving grace of Jesus Christ presented through rap lyrics. 

I'm thankful for a God that humbles me and uses my filth to drop me to my knees and points me to Him. 

Now THAT'S what I call a Friday Night!

To my Austinites and to those reading from far far away, let me tell you: last night the foodies were OUT and we celebrated rightly. 

Whether or you were aware, yesterday was National Doughnut Day. My co-workers and I formulated a plan to hit the town for dinner and doughnuts to properly acknowledge the day. We went to Gibson Bar and Gourdough's.

Both places serve their food out of trailers (VERY common in Austin. There are entire trailer parks that are just restaurants--GOOD restaurants at that!). Both venues had amazing food that makes you go SERIOUSLY? THAT? That's what I'm going to eat?

Yes, yes I did eat that (we shared, don't judge):

1. The flying pig: a doughnut w/ bacon on it and maple syrup glaze

2. The most amazing grilled cheese ever: also with a fried egg on texas toast

3. The buenos dias: A hot dog wrapped in bacon with cheese and a fried egg

4. The son of a peach: a doughnut w/ peach filling, drizzled w/cream cheese icing

5. The miss shortcake: a cream cheese filled doughnut w/ sliced strawberries on top

Gourdough's is a must for people visiting Austin: eclectic, ridiculous, fun, food served out of an airstream trailer, BYOB, and great tasting treats!

Photo credit to Mike Sutter with the Austin Statesman blog "forklore":

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Preparing to leave Austin is proving to be even more challenging that I was expecting. I have so many deep and amazing relationships here. I ADORE this city. I thrive in community with people that share big dreams with me.

My first instinct is to pull away from everyone here. To tuck away in my apartment, finish my few weeks at work and just leave. Goodbyes are hard. Having to actually face the reality of leaving stinks. Pulling away makes the pain seem less searing. Retreating from community numbs the hurt. These people have been such a huge part of my life. I can't do that to them. I love them. I love the roles they have played in my time here. I want to SAVOR the last weeks here. I want to laugh with them and cry with them and pray with them. I still want to dream with them.

So onward I go. Into the coming weeks of tears and laughter. Lots of see you laters and bittersweet goodbyes. My sweet friends, know that this time isn't easy for me either.