Birthdays and Deathdays

A year ago today, a friend of mine died from liver cancer. He was 23.

My birthday is coming up. The big 2-5--A quarter of a century!

As my heart ached today remembering Peder and what today represented, I started smiling. On earth we count birthdays. The trend is to agonize over the next year. Western cultures war against nature and *gasp* getting OLD. Each year we mark down one more year finished. One less to live. One closer to death. We're terrified of death.

Peder just had his 1 year birthday in heaven. The neat thing...he's not counting down anymore. Heaven is forever. ETERNITY. One down, eternity to go. NO BIG DEAL. How exciting is that?! Forever with Jesus. In his presence. Adoring Him. At HOME with HIM. My heart beats faster just thinking about it. 

Hip Hop Conviction

I got to spend the last 3 days of my Spring Break in Austin, Texas for South by Southwest. I had been serving at a camp in Tyler, Texas for the first part of the week then got an invite to tag along to Austin for a weekend of music and fun with a friend that was also serving at the camp. He's way more into music (at least the kind that plays at SXSW) than I am, so he made the schedule of shows he thought would be awesome and I was all in.

I'm a white girl. I like classical music, baking, high heels, ruffles, romance novels, and craft projects. I drive a chevy malibu and love opera.

Scene: Holy Hip Hop Concert.

It's at a church, there are seats, then a stage with two DJs spinning and a whole bunch of people milling around waiting for the show to start. We take our seats. I'm feeling moderately self conscious, but okay. We're not too close to the front and claimed seats. I can blend in here. I still feel like people are staring at me. The emcees come out and welcome everyone and set two rules: no sitting, and they tell people to come up front by the stage (as the smoke machines start going off and rappers get ready to come out).

Dustin says, YES! LET'S GO!!

My heart SINKS. I'm like. uhhh. I'm so uncomfortable already. I'm going to stick out. I also don't want to sit by myself. I go up there. First rapper comes out. All I can think about is how awkward I feel. How people are judging how I stand and how I bop to the music and how I look. Then I start listening to the lyrics. They are about Jesus. They are about who we are in Christ. They are about the idols we hold above Him--ourselves.

Enter: Conviction.

I'm so wrapped up in myself that I'm missing the point in a HUGE way. My audience isn't the people around me. Their opinion of me isn't important. They aren't judging me. THEY are enjoying the music. THEY are having fun. They don't care nearly as much about me as I do. My insecurities are taking away from the GLORY due to Jesus Christ. As my heart is hurting over my own sin and ugly focus on myself, the lyrics these rappers are singing start delighting my heart. "Ain't no party like the holy ghost party cause the holy ghost party don't stop". I start singing along. I'm swaying. I'm loving it. I make friends with some girls next to me. I'm dancing. I'M HAVING A BLAST!

My own pride is my worst enemy. Pride was keeping me from encountering Jesus at that show. Pride was assuming that MY APPEARANCE was more worthy of the attention of people around me than the saving grace of Jesus Christ presented through rap lyrics. 

I'm thankful for a God that humbles me and uses my filth to drop me to my knees and points me to Him. 

I AM FROM

I have a Curriculum and Instruction class on Tuesdays and Thursdays that I really don't enjoy very much. My disdain for the course is largely due to a) the fact that the class is from 3:40-5PM b) the subject matter seems pointless/common sense and c) the frequent use of markers, games, and other elementary type activities often frustrates me.

The other day we had the option to get 4% extra credit on our exam if we wrote a poem. Typical Anna fashion, I scoffed at the assignment labeling it as "lame" but knew I'd do since I have a hard time passing up the chance for extra points. The assignment was pretty specific-- to do an "I am from" poem addressing sights/sounds/phrases/smells etc of where we're from. To be creative within that paradigm. 

Then I started writing...I loved it. Thinking of imagery that described the heart of who I am and what my family is. Working within specific questions to give a complete understanding of 24 years of life. It was a game I actually enjoyed.

So, I thought I'd share. A blog is kind of like the grown up version of the family fridge of proud papers, pictures and stories. Welcome to a taste of home.

I AM FROM

I am from the Midwest, wherever my dreams or family take me.

I am from tradition and love. Monday night soup night, Friday family night,

I am from a welcoming home—full of strangers, friends, and family. The door is always open.

I am from a culture of debate and teasing, grow some thick skin to survive the dinner table.

I am from walls and halls of pictures. Friends competing for their faces to make the “wall of fame” or the coveted top of the baby grand piano.

I am from the smell of homemade oatmeal bread baking in the oven, freshly popped popcorn, and wisk laundry detergent.

I am from the constant hum of activity: the sounds of worship music blaring at all hours of the day, the Hallelujah Chorus on full blast as the standard alarm clock for holidays, and the door swinging on its hinges as people come and go.

I am from a home full of books strewn across the arms of chairs, half completed board games ready to be conquered, and an extra plate set at the dinner table in case a friend stops by.

I’m from a home with lots of chiefs and not enough indians where life is a party and food is our hobby.

I LOVE LAMININ!

Sorry I've been absent lately. School and life have kind of taken over. I wanted to share a few of the verses, thoughts, youtubes, quotes that have been impacting me. This is a random assortment of influences and thoughts, so bear with me. 

We serve a big God.

An awesome God. 

A mighty God.

A God that works through flawed people like you and me.

And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets— who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. -Hebrews 11:32-34

My prayer lately has been that God would increase my view of Him. I think we (especially in Western cultures) tend to put God in a box. A box of our preconceived notions and understandings about Him. We try to constrain the Almighty God so we can "get" who He is. When really-I think one of the most awe inspiring aspects of God is that He CANNOT be contained. He's the creator of the universe. He's the GREAT I AM. I'm learning and growing and praying that my faith in the author of the world would grow. That I could be counted with the heroes of the faith who walked boldly into fire knowing that the GOD WHO IS had their best in mind.

The molecular biologist that made my night was via a talk by Louie Giglio. Enjoy.

So many quotes/stories/opinions from recent conversations with my 180 kids, connection group, friends, legislation changes,  etc. I'm just overwhelmed with what else to even share. More soon.

Are you a Freshman?

Hello friends.
It's been almost a month.

I survived round one of exams. I'm enjoying my classes (well, some of them). The being back in school thing is entertaining--most people think I'm a freshman. I think it's the long hair and being in mostly freshman/sophomore classes. The sophomores haven't seen me before so they assume I'm a freshman. I just take it as it is. The best was a standing by the bus conversation with a guy from one of my classes. He was telling me how people think he's 17 all the time etc, working on getting the sympathy vote. I kind of smiled and said, oh-yeah, sometimes that happens to me too.
Him: Oh-yeah. You're a freshman, right?
Me: No.
Him: Junior?
Me: eh, it's complicated.
Him: long pause...how old are you (emphasis on the OLD)?
Me: 24.
Him: whoaaaa.
Oh freshman boy...you're funny.

I still cheer for Purdue. Only Purdue. 

I've starting helping with 180, the Junior High ministry at Cornerstone Church. Volunteering there has been SO MUCH FUN. Highlights have been a 6th grade lock-in, learning a morale dance, and eating chocolate cupcakes (see previous post) with my 7th grade girls. I'm getting to pour into Jr Highers (and see if that really is the age I want to teach someday) and meet a ton of other people around my age that are serving as well. I'm in a connection group with other leaders and am thriving with going deeper with these new friends.

The Lord has been reminding me of his goodness, provision, and faithfulness. Loving me through new friends and my family. Smiling down on me with sunny days. Speaking through his word.

So to my friends that wanted to know, how's Iowa? It's great. It's really really great.