Sweet Summertime

The day finally came! After the epic paper chain countdown at work -- I got to see Joel. My co workers were so fun to celebrate the happy day with me!! Joel and I spent all of Memorial Day weekend together. Fun times including his cousin's wedding, two different days out on the water (I got up wakeboarding!), finding some new favorite restaurants in Minneapolis, brunch with my best friend Steph and her husband, and a 3:30 AM trip to the airport to send me off on my next program.  

Mary and I spent 16 days in sunny Puerto Rico for our program. I was super thankful to be paired with such a fun co-worker for such a LONG trip! We made it through unscathed. We were both DEFINITELY ready to be home once the trip was done. 

When I got back from my trip -- Joel and I had another weekend together! I'm getting spoiled with all of the together time this summer. No complaints here -- I'll soak it while I can. He makes wakeboarding and wakesurfing look a LOT easier than I do. He's a pro! 

BIKE RIDES! What? I like bike riding?! Yes, I do. Most recent favorite thing has been the Taco Tuesday ride. It's a nice 16-17 mile round trip ride from the South side of Des Moines to Cummings, IA. The special treat?! Fat Tire beer on draft and Tacopocalypse tacos as a reward. 

I had no idea that Thursdays at Jasper Winery were such a big deal--but they are! I went with friends and saw the crazy lines of cars waiting to park. 

More Bike Rides. We survived (BARELY) the WAR Ride from Waukee to Redfield and back. If you know me at all, you probably know that I don't do so well in super hot/humid weather. Add my longest bike ride to date to upper 90s weather with a head wind? Yeah - those 39 miles felt like 80! Having a boyfriend that can ride like a pro a few short weeks after getting a road bike is good for my pride. I definitely took a long nap after the ride. Fun bonding time with Joel and Helzer, though. 

The Uncommon Marvel

I've recently become more and  more aware that there's a certain amount of faith required to be a single woman in the conservative dating scene. As I chit chat with female friends who are in various stages of the scene  -- we concur. Waiting stinks.

Don't get me wrong -- every female has an obligation to let a guy know that she'd be okay with him mayyybe asking her out. You know - that subtle hint that she's giving him the "green light". YET - there's the waiting. The meandering around and moving on with life while we wait for him to take notice or initiate or pursue. Waiting for the uncommon marvel: the "ask".

Scenario one - the green light the girl is attempting to give off is coming across as more LIME GREEN or NEON ORANGE and scary/needy to the guy - guy avoids. girl waits (and probably pines unhealthily).

Scenario two - the green light is marred by an awkward friend comment by one of the two parties involved, or even worse -- an outside party- guy avoids, girl waits or also avoids. 

Scenario three - the green light is pleasantly ignored - the guy is not interested. The girl waits and then hopefully moves on (depending on the attachment level - this realization can take a while. What can I say - some females are very adept at dreaming and not so adept at facing reality). 

Scenario four - the green light is acknowledged and the guy pursues - GUY ASKS GIRL OUT! WOOHOOOO! Girl is thrilled.

Next step: 

The Date (or hangout, or awkward encounter. FYI for the guys -- the girl wants a date. A real date. She wants you to preferably call (not facebook or tweet or text) and say - Hi _____(her name here). This is ______(guy's name here). I'm interested in getting to know you more and taking you out on a date. I thought we could go to_____(fill in activity). Would you be up for that? Can I pick you up? ) 

 Moving on with the scenario: 

 - Scenario one -  Date is super. She lets him know she had a great time. Maybe a text (mayybe). And she waits. Waits for him to lead out. Waits for him to follow up. Waits for him to signal that he also had a great time. She avoids being needy. Avoids getting too attached. WAITS. 

- Scenario two - Date is so so, date is horrible, or date is just awkward. Start pattern again, don't pass go, don't collect a diamond, don't change your facebook relationship status. Consider joining a new online dating program to fill in the waiting or at least entertain yourself during the process. 

The waiting is so hard. This reality of first and foremost - pursuing CHRIST. Resting in HIS pursuit. Finding intimacy in His word and His promises. All the while - knowing that you do want to someday be in a relationship. Sometimes pretending you don't care. Inside - you do. You want it, but you force the smile every time someone asks -- SOO are you SEEING ANYONE?! Or you politely say -- not currently! Or perhaps frighten them by saying you are browsing the inter webs for the next potential! Or even more boldly - nope, I'm up for blind dates, though!

Once the possibility arises and maybe a date has happened --  finding the balance between affirming this gent, yet letting him pursue. Trying to figure out the "code" of interest. Or do I just pay attention to movies like He's just not that into you? If he's interested -- I'll KNOW.

I hate the code. Screw the code.  Waiting is hard.

BRAVO to the guys out there that are willing to risk. Willing to face the possibility of rejection. Willing to be one of the few single men that will genuinely ask a girl out on a real date. Not friend-card awkwardly sliding towards late night hangouts alone after group sessions. No - taking the time to plan, take her out, and get to know her intentionally. It means a ton. It shows her she has value. It sets a precedent for future beaus. So - yes. I see you out there. I applaud you. Keep it up.

Overflow

God has changed the attitude and posture of my heart in a dramatic way over the last week or two. The agony of waiting has lightened. He has been prodding my heart with His word. Declaring his faithfulness. Singing His love. Filling me with awe at His majesty. Beckoning me to rest at His feet.

I started this blog the day I resigned from Hyatt when I lived in Austin, Texas. THAT was the day I wrote the tag line and title for Reckless Trust. God knew that reckless trust would have to be an anchor in my walk with Him over the coming months and year. That HE would be my rock. That HE would be the source of my stability. That there would be UPS and DOWNS. He didn't promise that life would be easy or pain free--He promised that he would carry me through it all.

Without this season of waiting, I would have missed the pure JOY of babysitting this little man.

Without this season of waiting, I would not have been able to DIG IN to relationships with the people in my new post college pre-minivan connection group at Cornerstone.
 

Without this season of waiting, I would have missed out on uninterrupted fall happies as God ushers in my favorite season of Autumn. 

Without this season of waiting, I would still likely be afraid of riding my bike on the street.

So I'm thankful. God is faithful to answer prayers. He has replaced my anger at this season of waiting with an overflow of JOY.

The Waiting Game

The interview went well. Now I'm waiting. I got a callback to find out that the director of the division I'm interviewing into retired, thus setting off a string of promotions and transfers internally. I will likely have to interview again with the new boss since the original person I interviewed with will no longer be in that department.

What does one do with excessive time on her hands?

This girl gets busy.

1. I made a new friend: Jane Austen. I've read Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, and Persuasion so far. I'm SUCH a fan. Yes, they drone on from time to time. Overall, though- I find myself relating and laughing out loud at some of the thoughts/exasperations of the characters. Their woes and excitements make me smile as I understand the soaring highs followed by tumultuous lows. Even the length of sentences speaks loudly to the art of prose. The ability of Jane Austen to make me laugh by the brevity of sentence. So fun.
2. I made greek yogurt in my crock pot. Once successfully, the second time was a failure. I followed my mentor Tori's lead--she had told me about making yogurt in the crock pot.
   
   I googled since I wanted to see if it would also work with greek yogurt. Came across this article that covered things pretty well. The only thing I adapted was wrapping the crock pot in a beach towel once I added the cultures --rather than putting it in the oven w/oven light on. The first batch was AMAZING. I put it into mason jars. Adorable and so tasty. Smiling apron picture is from the first try--I was happy that day. Second one--I decided to put it in the crockpot 'warm' setting like a few other websites suggested. FAIL. Burned it and turned it into reviling clotted curds of nasty. I need to make it again to redeem the activity.
3. I perfected the art of homemade cinnamon rolls. I crave cinnamon rolls on a semi-regular basis.
   
   I think it's some aspect of my inner child remembering going to the mall in junior high to ride the carousel then go get a GIANT Cinnabon. This recipe is spot on. The only thing that I changed was using regular cinnamon instead of the fancy kind she talks about. I cut it back to 4TBSP (1/4 cup). And watch the cooking time--mine took a little longer than 20 minutes. More like 25ish. One other bit of advice...don't crowd the buns. Let them do their thing.The pan that I let rise/proof longer and had more room in the pan turned out PERFECTLY. They were huge and gooey and delicious. The picture is pre-baked. They were even better when they came out!
4. Listening to some great new music. Favorite new albums on repeat are Bebo Norman's "Oceans" (especially the song God of my Everything) and Matt Redman's "10,000 Reasons" (Songs Never Once, Endless Hallelujah).
5. I got crafty. I saw this blog post linked to from someone's facebook. It's a fabric memory game. I decided to make it for a baby shower gift. ADORABLE! I made two sets...one with canvas backing and another with denim. They are a bit time consuming--but completely worth it. I found the little box/chests at hobby lobby. They look like they were made for the game!!                                                  
   
   
    
   
   In short (well, not really. this post is kind of long), I'm waiting. I'm learning to enjoy the waiting not just in anticipation of what's to come, but as a pivotal growth point in my current journey. The Lord has me waiting for a reason. Maybe to take time to enjoy HIM! and to remember other little things that delight my soul. God is faithful.

Waiting

My birthday came and went. It was hard this year -- not because of turning 25, but simply because it seemed unimportant. It was just another day of class, another day at home, another day with friends. There were amazing facebook wishes and high fives from a few random people in class that heard it was my birthday--but nothing that seemed special. 

I think the blah of this year was partly because last year was so epic. Surrounded by friends in Austin - old missional community, new missional community, best friend flew in from Minnesota, work friends, roommate, choir friends - they brought wine and cooking gifts. Not because I told them to (well, I did tell them to bring wine), but because they KNEW me and my quirks. We ate and drank and mingled. It was easy. Flowers at work, dinner at my favorite winery with my besties. I miss that life. 

Steph flew in.

Flowers at work last year

 

 

 

Party last year

Work friends

Through the dull pain of change, the Lord is teaching me to wait. To rest on him. To see His GLORY and BEAUTY in the hope of spring. The gentle and sometimes violent rains that usher in the flowers. The deep, dark soil churned up by farmers ready for seed to be planted in. Then we WAIT. Eager anticipation of harvest.

James 5:7-11 Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door. As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.

Learning to rest and hope and trust is a process. Clinging to the promise that the Lord is compassionate and merciful. Dancing in the rain. Taking joy in this season.

I'm so glad to have friends here in Ames that can love me through that process. Friends here to talk through Scripture with. To laugh at jokes with. To sing at concerts with. To banter during Catan with. To delight in the waiting with me. So thank you - to the Texas friends that I miss so dearly and to the Ames friends that I'm enjoying the NOW with.

Connection Group guys at the Matt Wertz show

The Annas and Vanessa at the show

Gungor Show with Danielle